Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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