I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
