trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
