So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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