I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
