We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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