Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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