yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
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