I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
