Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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