my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
