forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
home. puking in laundry basket.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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