how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
