I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
