The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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