Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
