im having a threesome with these popsicles
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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