bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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