hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
