If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Semen is not good for contacts.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
