I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
