I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
