This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
