no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
