let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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