He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
id be glad to
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
