things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
