I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
