It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
