I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
