My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
