Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we made out on top of his cat.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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