And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
