Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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