erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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