Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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