so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
