Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
