im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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