so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
