Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
