I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm sobbing to NWA
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
