So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
