BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
When are your genitals available?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
