she takes plan B like it's going out of style
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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