Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
