i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
