I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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