i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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