JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i dont even know how to be here
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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