I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You need Xanax blowdarts
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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