I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
