Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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